Remembering Ted

Remember Ted? He's our strange garden ornament (much loved by Tim and Aaron) that I was just beginning to get used to. One day we came home to find this... Shocked and surprised, I investigated the scene. For those of you who read our Christmas newletter you'll remember that one of our neighbors (according to Tim) is an axe-murderer. Our initial feelings were that Ted had been murdered. After all, the back of his head has been blown off somehow. I left him as I found him, waiting for time for further investigaion.

When we came back later, much to my horror, I discovered that Ted was not dead!!! His eyes were glowing and he had sent out a beacon of light on the walkway to signal us that he needed help. It had crossed my mind that he had attempted to commit suicide but since the attempt was unsuccessful, he had changed his mind and wanted to live. After further investigation, I've come to the conclusion that this was all an accident. I think he was blown over by the wind and struck his head (which is all there is to him) on the concrete causing the back of his head to explode. When I looked closer, one of his eyes was also blown out of it's socket. Poor Ted--he continued to glow. Right now all of his pieces have been gathered together and we're trying to decide if he can be saved. Aaron suggested that we just put a plant in the top of his head but I'm thinking a one-eyed yard ornament with a plant growning out of it's head would be rather grotesque. (Come to think of it, he was grotesque from the beginning). What do you think? Can he be saved?